It's extremely popular to go to the extreme when it comes to political stances...but this morning's devotion through the end of Exodus 22 is a good reminder to avoid that.
"You shall not revile God, nor curse a ruler of your people." - Exodus 22:28 (emphasis mine)
Some food for thought next time we feel the need to post passionate criticisms against the leaders in our lives. (Criticize away, but beware falling into the trap of exaggerating your point...there's lots of other verses that warn against that.)
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Happiness is a byproduct, not the goal.
This concept is one that has been reflected in many sermons on relationships and a lesson that I see reflected in the lives of every successful marriage (both in the lives of Christian couples and non-Christian couples). This truth seems to ring out...happiness is not the goal, but a byproduct.
What makes this especially interesting to me is that there is a lot of push and focus on being happy..chasing that fleeting feeling and encouraging others to do so. I've even found myself saying "well, whatever makes them happy." Looking back, I don't think that's enough. It's not enough for a relationship and certainly not enough of a reason to do...well...anything.
I like to go off-roading. I like to have long conversations with friends over coffee. I like playing music with friends. I like doing things for the girl I like. All of these things make me happy, but that happiness isn't the driving force behind why I do those things. If it were, I'd have lost interest long ago when each of those things became difficult.
Why do I go off-roading? To spend time with friends and to see God's creation in awesome ways...off-roading reminds me of how vast God's power is and how much He delights in us enjoying His creation.
Why do I like to have long conversations with friends? I like to see the changes and growth and like that feeling of growth in myself (even over difficult or painful topics). I like connecting with people and building those relationships...each investing in the other.
Why do I like playing music with friends? I like accomplishing something with others...working together toward a common goal. I also like using the gifts I've been given to glorify God.
Why do I like doing things for a girl I'm interested in? Because I like seeing her smile. I like that I get an opportunity to invest into her life and I am thankful to the creator of all things for the beauty and complexity He has put in her.
All these things make me happy...but that's not why I do the things I do.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness in off-roading, I would have given up after a couple of breakages, or the 2AM nights where we can't find a part and no part stores are open, or when I am frustrated at someone in the off-roading community, or when the next project on the Jeep requires a lot of work and I am feeling discouraged by the enormity of the tasks.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness in meeting with friends, I would only meet with people who wouldn't try and convict me or disagree with me. I would only talk about things that we could agree on. I wouldn't try and invest in the other person but, instead, try and manipulate them to make me feel good.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness when playing music, I would only pick songs that were relatively easy to play. I would only play with people who didn't make mistakes (so...nobody). I would give up anytime a part was confusing or difficult.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness with a girl, I would pick a girl who has no outward struggles. I would pick a girl who was a groupie and who's sole interest was me and my happiness. I would give up on a relationship when things are frustrating or difficult and hope from relationship to relationship...always chasing that feeling at the start of many relationships, where infatuation is more prevalent.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness, I would have nothing that lasted.
Countless sermons at various churches have all stated the same as well...happiness is not the goal of a relationship. A relationship is built on working through life together, supporting each other, caring for each other, and giving love to each other (and loving enough to do what's best for the other, even if that's hard for yourself or the other person). Happiness should come out of that...but that should never be the why you do what you do.
Lastly, to all my Christian friends, this is not a new message and one you've likely heard before. God is not interested in your happiness. He is interested in your goodness, in holiness. Your happiness can be a byproduct of this, if you so choose, but it's not the goal.
What makes this especially interesting to me is that there is a lot of push and focus on being happy..chasing that fleeting feeling and encouraging others to do so. I've even found myself saying "well, whatever makes them happy." Looking back, I don't think that's enough. It's not enough for a relationship and certainly not enough of a reason to do...well...anything.
I like to go off-roading. I like to have long conversations with friends over coffee. I like playing music with friends. I like doing things for the girl I like. All of these things make me happy, but that happiness isn't the driving force behind why I do those things. If it were, I'd have lost interest long ago when each of those things became difficult.
Why do I go off-roading? To spend time with friends and to see God's creation in awesome ways...off-roading reminds me of how vast God's power is and how much He delights in us enjoying His creation.
Why do I like to have long conversations with friends? I like to see the changes and growth and like that feeling of growth in myself (even over difficult or painful topics). I like connecting with people and building those relationships...each investing in the other.
Why do I like playing music with friends? I like accomplishing something with others...working together toward a common goal. I also like using the gifts I've been given to glorify God.
Why do I like doing things for a girl I'm interested in? Because I like seeing her smile. I like that I get an opportunity to invest into her life and I am thankful to the creator of all things for the beauty and complexity He has put in her.
All these things make me happy...but that's not why I do the things I do.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness in off-roading, I would have given up after a couple of breakages, or the 2AM nights where we can't find a part and no part stores are open, or when I am frustrated at someone in the off-roading community, or when the next project on the Jeep requires a lot of work and I am feeling discouraged by the enormity of the tasks.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness in meeting with friends, I would only meet with people who wouldn't try and convict me or disagree with me. I would only talk about things that we could agree on. I wouldn't try and invest in the other person but, instead, try and manipulate them to make me feel good.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness when playing music, I would only pick songs that were relatively easy to play. I would only play with people who didn't make mistakes (so...nobody). I would give up anytime a part was confusing or difficult.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness with a girl, I would pick a girl who has no outward struggles. I would pick a girl who was a groupie and who's sole interest was me and my happiness. I would give up on a relationship when things are frustrating or difficult and hope from relationship to relationship...always chasing that feeling at the start of many relationships, where infatuation is more prevalent.
If I were only interested in my continued happiness, I would have nothing that lasted.
Countless sermons at various churches have all stated the same as well...happiness is not the goal of a relationship. A relationship is built on working through life together, supporting each other, caring for each other, and giving love to each other (and loving enough to do what's best for the other, even if that's hard for yourself or the other person). Happiness should come out of that...but that should never be the why you do what you do.
Lastly, to all my Christian friends, this is not a new message and one you've likely heard before. God is not interested in your happiness. He is interested in your goodness, in holiness. Your happiness can be a byproduct of this, if you so choose, but it's not the goal.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Our dissatisfaction in our leaders
This morning, I woke up thinking about leadership as a concept. My theory is that we, as a culture, abuse our leaders. I don't think it's necessarily something done intentionally, but I think we may place unreasonable expectations on them and then further the problem by not communicating that...and then get frustrated when those expectations aren't met and respond in trying to tear them down.
I barely goes a single day without seeing some derogatory comment or quip about our government (big or small) come across my vision...be it the news, facebook, or wherever. I sometimes wonder if we are overly harsh, venting the frustrations of the rest of our life onto our government (not unlike the person who sent the email in the video above), forgetting that our government is not one person and forgetting that tearing down your leader only makes it harder for them to lead well. Would it not be better to try and work WITH your leaders to help them lead in a better direction or to try and understand what could have influenced them to make the decisions they are making? This is the leader we elected, afterall (don't even start with the "we didn't elect him" crap...we elected those who elected him with full knowledge that they are the people who are supposed to represent us).
Switching scenes, I hear from people in my church, with surprising regularity, about our church leadership...some thing that they don't like or that doesn't speak to them or that they still don't trust Pastor X because he hasn't yet proven himself to them, or some other complaint over relatively minor things. This breaks my heart for our pastors who have to not only put up with the criticisms and battles from the culture and people outside of the church, but also have so many similar battles inside of the church. Further, I find it shocking that the same people who complain to me, resist the idea of going directly to them...to meet with them and discuss, to try and better understand and work WITH your leaders to help them lead in a better direction.
If the form of the complaints is so similar within the church body to what I see outside of the church directed towards other leaders, I if there is, perhaps, a larger problem of our views and expectations of leadership (as a whole) and if that is why we find ourselves so consistently dissatisfied.
The truth is, leadership can't be done in a bubble...it needs the support, feedback, and trust from the people your leaders are responsible for. They are people too and need support to lead well. I know a number of leaders who sometimes feel like they are asked to lead and find themselves feeling very much alone and it would mean a lot to them to have active support.
I'm not saying to support the things they do which you do not agree with...I am asking you to support them, as people. Talk with them with respect, work WITH them and hold them accountable with love, try and understand where they are coming from and help them understand where you are coming from, and most importantly, communicate with them that you still support them as a leader.
I am going to go out on a limb and ask for this for myself, too. To those who want me to "be a leader" or have asked me to lead something (this relates to church groups, it relates to relationships (both romantic and non), and it relates to work), I am asking for that same support and communication.
I barely goes a single day without seeing some derogatory comment or quip about our government (big or small) come across my vision...be it the news, facebook, or wherever. I sometimes wonder if we are overly harsh, venting the frustrations of the rest of our life onto our government (not unlike the person who sent the email in the video above), forgetting that our government is not one person and forgetting that tearing down your leader only makes it harder for them to lead well. Would it not be better to try and work WITH your leaders to help them lead in a better direction or to try and understand what could have influenced them to make the decisions they are making? This is the leader we elected, afterall (don't even start with the "we didn't elect him" crap...we elected those who elected him with full knowledge that they are the people who are supposed to represent us).
Switching scenes, I hear from people in my church, with surprising regularity, about our church leadership...some thing that they don't like or that doesn't speak to them or that they still don't trust Pastor X because he hasn't yet proven himself to them, or some other complaint over relatively minor things. This breaks my heart for our pastors who have to not only put up with the criticisms and battles from the culture and people outside of the church, but also have so many similar battles inside of the church. Further, I find it shocking that the same people who complain to me, resist the idea of going directly to them...to meet with them and discuss, to try and better understand and work WITH your leaders to help them lead in a better direction.
If the form of the complaints is so similar within the church body to what I see outside of the church directed towards other leaders, I if there is, perhaps, a larger problem of our views and expectations of leadership (as a whole) and if that is why we find ourselves so consistently dissatisfied.
The truth is, leadership can't be done in a bubble...it needs the support, feedback, and trust from the people your leaders are responsible for. They are people too and need support to lead well. I know a number of leaders who sometimes feel like they are asked to lead and find themselves feeling very much alone and it would mean a lot to them to have active support.
I'm not saying to support the things they do which you do not agree with...I am asking you to support them, as people. Talk with them with respect, work WITH them and hold them accountable with love, try and understand where they are coming from and help them understand where you are coming from, and most importantly, communicate with them that you still support them as a leader.
I am going to go out on a limb and ask for this for myself, too. To those who want me to "be a leader" or have asked me to lead something (this relates to church groups, it relates to relationships (both romantic and non), and it relates to work), I am asking for that same support and communication.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Why I believe homosexuality is not ok, but gay marriage is.
I'm going to say something here that will probably get me in all sorts of trouble with all sorts of people (assuming they find my little blog), but I feel like it's something I need to clarify before I get lumped in with this camp or that.
I believe homosexuality is a sin, but I don't believe the government should be in the business of restricting homosexuals from marrying (in the same way I don't believe the government should force a church to marry homosexuals).
Now that I have reasonable confidence that I've angered most everyone, I will try and explain.
The bible is extremely clear on what it states on homosexuality in both the old testament (Leviticus 18 talks very clearly about all sorts of sexual prohibitions, Leviticus 20:13, etc) and new testament (Romans 1:21-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). To throw that aside as "not applicable" is to open the door to throwing anything else in there aside (you will then have a the same justification for polygamy, bestiality, incest, etc) and brings to question the authenticity and authority of the bible. At some point, it isn't a far cry to throw the whole thing out and just read the parts you like to support what you've decided on your own.
Now, I am not saying that homosexuals are going to hell anymore than I am saying someone who tells a lie is going to hell...sin is sin and salvation is ONLY through the grace of God. (You can get into judging people by their fruits, etc but that is another discussion entirely.)
On the second portion of my earlier statement, I don't believe the government should be enforcing beliefs (especially beliefs specific to the church and to the Bible alone) on people. In fact, I would go even as far as to say the government should get out of the whole business of marriage and leave that to the people and the organizations involved (including churches).
I fully support people's right to protest and make their voice known that they believe it's wrong (and why), but I will not participate in that because I don't stand on the same belief that they do (which is that their beliefs should be enforced by government). On the same token, I will not participate in pride parades or things to support homosexuality because I very much believe it is a sin (and again, because I don't believe their beliefs should be enforced by government). The last part applies to the homosexual argument because of stories I've read and heard of some countries making the stance that a church cannot deny marrying someone on the basis that they are homosexual as it counts as discrimination. If this is something that started as a movement here in the country I am a citizen of, I WILL participate and fight that vehemently.
Hopefully that clarifies my stance a bit and why I feel, at many times, very much at odds with both sides and am often torn between the people I care about and what they stand for (in both camps).
I believe homosexuality is a sin, but I don't believe the government should be in the business of restricting homosexuals from marrying (in the same way I don't believe the government should force a church to marry homosexuals).
Now that I have reasonable confidence that I've angered most everyone, I will try and explain.
The bible is extremely clear on what it states on homosexuality in both the old testament (Leviticus 18 talks very clearly about all sorts of sexual prohibitions, Leviticus 20:13, etc) and new testament (Romans 1:21-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). To throw that aside as "not applicable" is to open the door to throwing anything else in there aside (you will then have a the same justification for polygamy, bestiality, incest, etc) and brings to question the authenticity and authority of the bible. At some point, it isn't a far cry to throw the whole thing out and just read the parts you like to support what you've decided on your own.
Now, I am not saying that homosexuals are going to hell anymore than I am saying someone who tells a lie is going to hell...sin is sin and salvation is ONLY through the grace of God. (You can get into judging people by their fruits, etc but that is another discussion entirely.)
On the second portion of my earlier statement, I don't believe the government should be enforcing beliefs (especially beliefs specific to the church and to the Bible alone) on people. In fact, I would go even as far as to say the government should get out of the whole business of marriage and leave that to the people and the organizations involved (including churches).
I fully support people's right to protest and make their voice known that they believe it's wrong (and why), but I will not participate in that because I don't stand on the same belief that they do (which is that their beliefs should be enforced by government). On the same token, I will not participate in pride parades or things to support homosexuality because I very much believe it is a sin (and again, because I don't believe their beliefs should be enforced by government). The last part applies to the homosexual argument because of stories I've read and heard of some countries making the stance that a church cannot deny marrying someone on the basis that they are homosexual as it counts as discrimination. If this is something that started as a movement here in the country I am a citizen of, I WILL participate and fight that vehemently.
Hopefully that clarifies my stance a bit and why I feel, at many times, very much at odds with both sides and am often torn between the people I care about and what they stand for (in both camps).
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
"What do you want to do with your life?" - A reminder of contentment
I was asked recently about what I saw for myself in the future...and it got me thinking about what I would want to do.
The truth is, I've found I have a passion for things I am currently doing. It seems simple and I suppose one could make the accusation that I am not a big dreamer for what I want out of life, but the truth of the matter is, I want to do what I am doing and I don't look back and see that there should have been a lot of major changes.
Had you asked me the same question 5 years ago, the answer would have been only a little different, but the truth of the matter is, what I want to be doing, I go out and pursue. Where I saw myself going and where I ended up is definitely very different but I believe the adjustment in the path of my life was God pushing me to something better than I wanted to do at the time.
I *love* working with other young adults (single and married)...connecting, building relationships, talking about the Bible together, serving together, working through tough issues and being there for each other.
I *love* being able to serve and give back to God with the gift of playing music that He's given me.
I *love* talking with and encouraging my co-workers and being able to bring things back to what I see in the Bible.
I *love* going out and off-roading, seeing the beauty of God's creation that not everyone gets to easily access.
The truth is, I love where I am at...and I am very blessed. I love seeing people grow and getting to be a part of that. I love where God has placed me and don't have a strong desire or lust to do something else or to go chasing after some other dream because a lot of that would mean giving up the things I have already been given (and been trusted with). I feel like I am right where God has placed me and wants me. It seems very clear to me that I am involved in things that He's set up and set me up for. "Lord, make my heart desire the things you desire" was a prayer I prayed often since I was young and I believe I am there (at least in some aspects). I desire to be in God's will...that may move me to another job/task/ministry/whatever at some point, but I am confident I will develop a love for that too.
How can you not love the things God has you do when you love God? That's not to say it's always easy or that it's never frustrating, but in the end, I still love what God's given me. Be it a ministry, be it people, be it whatever...I love it all.
The truth is, I've found I have a passion for things I am currently doing. It seems simple and I suppose one could make the accusation that I am not a big dreamer for what I want out of life, but the truth of the matter is, I want to do what I am doing and I don't look back and see that there should have been a lot of major changes.
Had you asked me the same question 5 years ago, the answer would have been only a little different, but the truth of the matter is, what I want to be doing, I go out and pursue. Where I saw myself going and where I ended up is definitely very different but I believe the adjustment in the path of my life was God pushing me to something better than I wanted to do at the time.
I *love* working with other young adults (single and married)...connecting, building relationships, talking about the Bible together, serving together, working through tough issues and being there for each other.
I *love* being able to serve and give back to God with the gift of playing music that He's given me.
I *love* talking with and encouraging my co-workers and being able to bring things back to what I see in the Bible.
I *love* going out and off-roading, seeing the beauty of God's creation that not everyone gets to easily access.
The truth is, I love where I am at...and I am very blessed. I love seeing people grow and getting to be a part of that. I love where God has placed me and don't have a strong desire or lust to do something else or to go chasing after some other dream because a lot of that would mean giving up the things I have already been given (and been trusted with). I feel like I am right where God has placed me and wants me. It seems very clear to me that I am involved in things that He's set up and set me up for. "Lord, make my heart desire the things you desire" was a prayer I prayed often since I was young and I believe I am there (at least in some aspects). I desire to be in God's will...that may move me to another job/task/ministry/whatever at some point, but I am confident I will develop a love for that too.
How can you not love the things God has you do when you love God? That's not to say it's always easy or that it's never frustrating, but in the end, I still love what God's given me. Be it a ministry, be it people, be it whatever...I love it all.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Separation of church and...marketplace?
"When we start to separate and fragment our lives between that which belongs in church and that which belongs in the marketplace, we risk doing the same with God - relegating Him to a secondary, segmented place in our lives." - Gareth Goossen
A good reminder to keep God part of all aspects of life. :)
Worship isn't about me
Reading a book called "Worship Walk", I am struck again with the reminder that worship is not about the music, presentation, or style...it's about giving praise to God. What right do we have to withhold that if something isn't just right or we don't "connect" with a particular song?
Do we sometimes forget what it means when we say "He is worthy"? Is it tempting to want to add "so long as the song triggers my emotions"?
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
My thoughts on the existence of "the one"
On the radio, I heard yet another person proclaim the folly of thinking that there is "the one" person for them...a soulmate or specific person God has chosen for them. It's not the first time I have heard this and I have a confession to make, regarding this topic.
I believe there is a "one" specific person God has crafted for each person (and is crafting you for a specific person).
Now, before the pitchforks or torches come out, allow me to explain why I believe this.
The reason I believe this is rooted in a number of other beliefs. I believe God is sovereign, and that He is in control of every aspect of our lives. This also means that I believe that God is never surprised and that I am not powerful enough to derail God's plans. Lastly, I believe that God cares about the small details of my life. Life may not go according to my own plan, but I know I can rest assured that it *always* goes according to His plan.
Based on that set of beliefs, I believe that God has planned out who I will or won't marry and through that same outlook, it takes the stress off and provides me a lot of comfort (especially when I have doubts about the whole thing).
You see, this means that I never have to worry about "making the wrong choice" when it comes to who I want to be with. This means I don't have to worry about "finding" or searching for this person that is hidden somewhere on the planet. This means that, ultimately, I don't have to worry on whether or not I will be married at all. Ultimately, it's up to God and His timing and His plan on how to best bring glory to Him (which is really what it's all about).
Does this mean that I don't still worry about all of the above? If only. I am still human, I still fail, and I still sometimes worry myself into a corner, convinced I am not good enough in some way or scared I will end up truly alone (not just romantically). When I do, though, I can take comfort in knowing that God is most certainly still in control and I can look back on my own past and see that He has seen me through the valleys
You see, this means that I never have to worry about "making the wrong choice" when it comes to who I want to be with. This means I don't have to worry about "finding" or searching for this person that is hidden somewhere on the planet. This means that, ultimately, I don't have to worry on whether or not I will be married at all. Ultimately, it's up to God and His timing and His plan on how to best bring glory to Him (which is really what it's all about).
Does this mean that I don't still worry about all of the above? If only. I am still human, I still fail, and I still sometimes worry myself into a corner, convinced I am not good enough in some way or scared I will end up truly alone (not just romantically). When I do, though, I can take comfort in knowing that God is most certainly still in control and I can look back on my own past and see that He has seen me through the valleys
and we've always come out on the other side, because He is with me.
So all that is to say and show that God can use even something I may totally disagree with, to comfort, encourage, and remind me that He's got this handled and that I don't need to worry...and also that He's got a plan (which may or may not include a "one"...but if it does, the one I marry one day will be "the one".)
So all that is to say and show that God can use even something I may totally disagree with, to comfort, encourage, and remind me that He's got this handled and that I don't need to worry...and also that He's got a plan (which may or may not include a "one"...but if it does, the one I marry one day will be "the one".)
Excess, even in books...
"But beyond this, my son, be warned: the writing of many books is endless, and excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body." Ecclesiastes 12:12
Yet another good reminder for balance...study, but also do.
Yet another good reminder for balance...study, but also do.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Permanence in the age of temporary
I stumbled onto this blog while researching something unrelated and, while it's not "new" information or thoughts (I suspect we all know deep down that there is little on earth that is permanent), the truth of the temporary nature of our lives really struck me.
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Thursday, August 29, 2013
Moses and Horeb
Exodus 3:11-12
But Moses said to God, “ Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
So He said, “I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you:When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.”
Three things of interest in these two verses...
First, God says "when", not "if." I wonder if Moses noticed that too.
Secondly, the sign wasn't until after the task was accomplished. It wasn't going to be given ahead of time, but far after (once they got to Mt Sinai).
Third, I never made the connection until just now (as I type this) that the mountain Moses was at when he encountered the burning bush was the same that the Israelites camped out at for all that time while Moses received the law (Horeb is another name or the same mountain, according to Strongs).
But Moses said to God, “ Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
So He said, “I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you:When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.”
Three things of interest in these two verses...
First, God says "when", not "if." I wonder if Moses noticed that too.
Secondly, the sign wasn't until after the task was accomplished. It wasn't going to be given ahead of time, but far after (once they got to Mt Sinai).
Third, I never made the connection until just now (as I type this) that the mountain Moses was at when he encountered the burning bush was the same that the Israelites camped out at for all that time while Moses received the law (Horeb is another name or the same mountain, according to Strongs).
Friday, August 9, 2013
On God making things new...
A friend of mine recently posted some verses on how God will make all things new and, while I was encouraged by this reminder, it got me thinking as well.
Just because He promises to make things new, doesn't mean He will make them the same.
This is something I need to be careful of in my expectations.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Jonah and the boat
In the story of Jonah, one of the interesting things is that it appears that there just happened to be a boat at the ready for him to run from God.
This got me to thinking and wondering...how do you tell when there is a "boat" or temptation just waiting and ready vs what is an open door that God opened to walk though?
Friday, June 14, 2013
On parents...
Sometimes, you've heard something so often that the meaning behind it has started to lose it's "punch" or becomes more a thing you say, than a thing you do.
"Honor your father and your mother" - Exodus 20:12
Honor - Regard with great respect, or the Hebrew says to give great weight to or to promote.
So this is a reminder to me and, perhaps, to you. Give extra consideration for your parents, to the things they say, to how your behavior reflects on them, to the things you say about them to others. When they say something, pause a moment and give it a little extra thought instead of letting it slide by as a "they always say that".
"Honor your father and your mother" - Exodus 20:12
Honor - Regard with great respect, or the Hebrew says to give great weight to or to promote.
So this is a reminder to me and, perhaps, to you. Give extra consideration for your parents, to the things they say, to how your behavior reflects on them, to the things you say about them to others. When they say something, pause a moment and give it a little extra thought instead of letting it slide by as a "they always say that".
It's not all about starting a family...
"For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’
Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace." - Luke 14:28-32 NASB
This verse, while talking about the cost of following Jesus, seems applicable to a number of other aspects of life as well. Since my church is talking about marriage a lot lately, this applies in the decision on pursuing a romantic relationship and for pursuit of marriage as well.
As with all things, there is a cost. It can be money, it can be time invested, it can be emotional...but all things have a cost and this includes people and relationships.
A number of my single friends have talked at length with me about this (you guys really have no idea how many of you all talk to me about the same things, even though most of you have never met) and how they *have* counted the cost and chose to stay unmarried in order to pursue other goals, ministries, non-romantic relationships, etc.
If anything, I applaud the thought put into whether or not to pursue a romantic relationship and the choosing of the unpopular decision to not pursue it (whether temporary or permanent). The fact that you "counted the cost" and took an honest look at it and chose wisely based on that...to me, that is a far more Godly choice than starting a family without taking a good look at what it will take.
(Note: This isn't bashing on starting a family but a reminder that life isn't as formulaic as we are tempted to believe and push. Start a family if that is where you are led, but not everyone is led to start a family...much like not everyone is led to be a counselor, a musician, or a preacher.)
Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace." - Luke 14:28-32 NASB
This verse, while talking about the cost of following Jesus, seems applicable to a number of other aspects of life as well. Since my church is talking about marriage a lot lately, this applies in the decision on pursuing a romantic relationship and for pursuit of marriage as well.
As with all things, there is a cost. It can be money, it can be time invested, it can be emotional...but all things have a cost and this includes people and relationships.
A number of my single friends have talked at length with me about this (you guys really have no idea how many of you all talk to me about the same things, even though most of you have never met) and how they *have* counted the cost and chose to stay unmarried in order to pursue other goals, ministries, non-romantic relationships, etc.
If anything, I applaud the thought put into whether or not to pursue a romantic relationship and the choosing of the unpopular decision to not pursue it (whether temporary or permanent). The fact that you "counted the cost" and took an honest look at it and chose wisely based on that...to me, that is a far more Godly choice than starting a family without taking a good look at what it will take.
(Note: This isn't bashing on starting a family but a reminder that life isn't as formulaic as we are tempted to believe and push. Start a family if that is where you are led, but not everyone is led to start a family...much like not everyone is led to be a counselor, a musician, or a preacher.)
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